David Attenborough, I ain't !!

I thought you would like to see the latest snaps from my jungle adventures. These are the ones I am most proud of...

I give you.....

(a) Orang Utan from afar

(b) Blurry Kingfisher

(c) Christ this snake is heading for my shoe

and my own personal favourite which I have decided to call ......

(d) Black Hornbill at night without a flash

There's another potential career to knock off my list - Wildlife Photographer I am not!!

Nor am I David Attenborough. I know this because I do not have a grey beard, a deep grandad voice or the ability to conduct myself in an appropriate manner around any form of wildlife.

I got so excited by spotting Orang Utans in the wild that I decided to visit a Rehabilitation Centre to try and get a closer look. I went to this fantastic place where they take orphan babies, feed them up and gradually reintroduce them to the jungle - perfect. I paid my money (all for a good cause) and took my place on the viewing platform with a smattering of other westerners and about 15 Japanese tourists in matching baseball caps.

We stood in silence for about 20 minutes and then ...... There was a rustle in the trees, a few branches snapped and the audience collectively held our breaths. And that's when it happened - I farted !! To make matters worse I was sitting on a wooden bench so the sound resonated around the whole platform. Thankfully one of the Japanese baseball cappers pointed at the big orange beast that had emerged from the trees and proclaimed 'Hee, hee - the big orang utan just farted' (or at least I'm guessing that's what she said but my Japanese is a bit rusty!)

Suffice to say I shall not be applying to become a BBC documentary maker any time soon.

To show you that I am not a complete waste of space in the jungle - here are a few of my better attempts at snapping some local characters....